comments by Copperhead
The Crimson Pirate (1996):
Hey Scoop, not sure if the timing of this was an accident, or it is
trying to capitalize on the recent Pirate craze. I rented a DVD of
the 1952 Burt Lancaster movie The Crimson Pirate. It turned out to
be quite an adventure. The highlight was the acrobatics. The bio
included tells how Burt and his co-star, Nick Cravat, were long-time
friends, who not only made several movies together, but had
performed in their own acrobatic troup as youngsters. The
acrobatics aboard ship and in town were quite good, especially for
that time. For example, they used the "swing and kip up on the
poles between buildings, way before Kurt Thomas perfomed similar
moves in Gymkata. The most interesting thing to me, was that
Cravat had played the Gremlin in the famous Twilight Zone TV
Episode, which also starred the Fun House favorite, William Shatner.
In the Crimson Pirate, his character is mute, which leads to some
humor, but according the IMDB, it was due to his strong east coast
accent.
BTW - no nudity and not a lot of Pirate Dialogue - Arrggghh!!!
Scoop's note: when they nominate the most athletic film stars of all time, Burt Lancaster has to be near the top of the list. That sumbitch was strong and incredibly agile as well. Although 6'2" and muscled, he could flip around like a little gymnast. In The Swimmer he was about the age I am now, and performed the entire movie in a small swimming suit. (And looked good doing it, the bastard.)
Perfect Timing (1986)
Hey Scoop, you ran a pic from this movie recently, so I thought it would be "Perfect Timing" to send the review.
DISTRIBUTOR INFO/ACTRESSES:
Jo Anne Bates, Kelly Craig, Nancy Cser, Papusha Demitro,
Alexandra Innes, Mary Elizabeth Rubens, Michele Scarabelli (TVs
Airwolf w/Jan Michael Vincent). Several of these have long lists
of TV credits. Michele Scarabelli lists everything from Dallas to
Star Trek, Beverly Hills 90120 to Diagnosis Murder. This is
probably Out of Print and only available used/auction (no VHS/DVD
outlets shown on the IMDB).
DETAILS:
I read about one of the scenes (described below) on the internet, and looked for this title. A famous photographer is having a career crisis. He's also fighting feelings for his longtime assistant, even though he is surrounded by beautiful naked women. A sub plot involves his sleazy brother who takes advantage of his fame with the above mentioned naked women. There is also a naked or topless girl covered in plaster, and the making of a music video (a very bad music video) with total nudity throughout.
The IMDB has mixed reviews that are interesting to read. It is
called a comedy, a sex farce, and totally without plot. It is Rated
R, and if The Turn On aka "Click" (or Le Declic in French) is
the perfect example of what an Unrated film should be, this may be
the perfect example of an R-Rated film of this genre.
NUDITY:
Has some great scenes, all well-lit with extended nudity. A
perfect example is the girl that comes to have her portrait done.
The sleazy brother impersonates the photographer, and coerces the
girl into stripping. When she comes out completely naked, she is
embarrassed to find that she was tricked into exposing everything in
front of several strangers. A couple of the women wander in and out
of the kitchen,
after sessions with the brother, totally nude, carrying on
conversations with whoever is there. One of them tries to hide
behind the refrigerator door when she discovers she is not alone.
One peculiar thing about the actresses, several of them fit a mold -
brunette, dark bush, small firm breasts (well, now that I write it,
there's nothing wrong with that). One of his models was more of a
glamorous blonde, but she only showed a breast. Another actress was
a rich older lady who also failed to show as much. His female
assistant was cast from another mold altogether, cute,.green eyes,
with short blonde hair. Nothing wrong with that either, but as the
assistant, she was the "forbidden" element - she wasn't walking
through the kitchen naked like the models, so of course I, the
viewer, wanted to see her naked too. Well, when she finally has a
love scene, the director completely changes the style of the movie -
soft, out-of-focus shots, with fleeting glimpses of breast, and even
more fleeting glimpses of bush. Frustrating to say the least.
There is also some male Full Frontal nudity, so be warned.
FINAL COMMENTS:
A reviewer on the CNDB said "This is a classic film with some great nudity and appalling comedy." As Dalton says in Road House: "Opinions vary". Maybe on the comedy, but as far as the nudity, this is truly a "classic".